my daily reflections…

i fought myself and my alcoholism before my recovery began to find some way to be able to continue drinkin but stop doin the stupid shit i was doin, and sayin the stupider shit i was sayin. i tried methods i thought id never try. with all the desperation of drownin men i sought escape whilst bein able to continue to drink like a gentleman. my early recovery was wrought with fear and even more desperation, tryin not to take that next 1st drink. idk what to call my early recovery other than a blessin. idk why i didnt drink. as self-tortured as i was, i didnt. i just kept trudgin forward day by day. as i watched others, they gave me hope, and promise, that i might be able to do the same. i parroted my sponsors action and the others i trusted. i did what they did and within time a new life was blessed to me, a design better than i had ever tried before. it was a lifestyle that really worked. i could heal, i could be better. 1 day @ a time...