my daily reflections…

in my early recovery this list was helped along by my sponsors guidance. i had already written those whom i held a grudge or resentment. what was surprisin to me was the way my sponsor helped me understand how those i perceived had harmed me, had actually been hurt by me 1st. their reaction to my action, behavior, or words, wasnt necessarily an undue assault, but rather, most were in retaliation, and merely in defense of a harm i had done to them. until we had deep discussions about the events which made me feel i was hurt, i couldnt see it in the light he had helped me to understand it in. with that 4th step list i was able to formulate my 8th step list of the people i had most def hurt. today the lessons learned from that early, very needed, truthful dialogue back and forth, i learned how to not make those same mistakes again. as ive learned to curb self-pity and ego, my feelin doesnt get hurt as much providin a pathway to make it easier to turn blame on others. ive learned since then, people are allowed to be who they are. i dont need to take shit so seriously creatin that self-induced butthurt i seemed to crave back in the days of doin my dirt. 1 day @ a time...