my daily reflections…

in my early recovery i may have thought i only hurt myself. even when others said i hurt em, i could not see it. whether it was my alcoholism or pride and ego, i could not hear em. the delusions i had set myself up for created illusions that all was well. ohhh, how wrong i learned i had been. recovery showed through this inventory how fearful i had become, as i truly looked at the ways i had hurt others. how it would make me feel, without any concern for the ones i had already made feel emotions they didnt need to feel coz of me. selfishness, self-centeredness, the root of the problems i had. i could not see the ruins of self-will run riot. to me, all was ok, i only hurt me. i deserved time to myself , no matter the cost to another. this idea of purposeful forgettin, was only squashed and made visible by the honest desire to set right the wrongs i had done. ant the moral inventory of step 4, then the deeper dive into it with step 8, showed me just how much work i had to do when it came to relationships with others, and myself. i needed my HP, sponsor, and other trusted friends in recovery to help me remain honest to self. 1 day @ a time...