I’ve got a mind
That tells me to smoke
Shop, eat, drink, use
Anything
To change how I feel
That’s constantly planning
Playing out
Different scenarios
So I feel more prepared
For an uncertain future
A mind that wants
To control everything
That’s easily irritated
And likes to be right
That tells me your ideas
Are stupid
And what you want me to do
Is a fucking waste of my time
That it’s better to quit
While I’m ahead
Than make mistakes
And try
A mind that wakes me
Up at 4AM
Tells me to start checking
Things off my list
That I’ll never be good enough
That everyone hates me
Feels sorry for the fact
That I even exist
That I’ll never have enough
Love in my life
Even though I’ve always
Been surrounded by it
A mind that tells me
Not to answer the phone
When family and friends
Reach out to me
That convinces me I’m in trouble
The voice messages waiting
Building up like my
Anxiety
When I’m lonely?
Isolate
What I’ve said too much?
Say more
When I’m overworked and tired?
Just keep going
Hit ignore
You can achieve so much more
Than you ever could before
This might be what
You got sober for
But I have a heart too
And it has a voice
That I’m beginning to hear
It rises up from within me
It tells me the truth
And it’s teaching me
To feel
It tells me I’m loved
And beautiful
Exactly how I am
That I don’t have to
Worry about everything
That I don’t have to understand
I don’t have to do it
All on my own
It tells me
To reach out my hand
To smile at strangers
To let traffic merge
To be kind and listen
To face fear and learn
That the only way out
Is through
To stay open
And let the light in
That when I’m feeling anxious
Coffee and sugar
Are probably
Not the solution
A heart that tells me
To write and sing
To follow my interests
Whatever they are
To not take life too seriously
And acknowledge
All the progress
That I’ve made so far
A heart that tells me
To be patient and trust
That good things will
Keep coming my way
To take a deep breath
To feel it all
To love this life
To stay
So who wins this battle?
I don’t know
But I’m curious enough to see
That I’m gonna stick around
And keep doing my best
To hear what my heart’s
Telling me
6 Comments
MORE is the enemy that denies us our NOW. I love reading your pieces Sarah.
I relate. Very much to this.
Fantastic Message Sarah. Thank You, Love it!!
Love this – beautiful Sarah. Thank you.
Frankly I think that’s absutolely good stuff.
Sarah-
Wonderfully written! You inspire this poet in your expression!! It is dynamic as it flows back to gentleness, compassion and truth to self, exposing the lies that “swamp” our energy. Thank you so much!!