Where Are You Supposed To Be? - By Tsgoyna Tanzman

It doesn’t matter where you are, as long as where you are, you’re eking out all you can.

That sounds nice as long as you’re in some cushy place with down pillows and 800 thread count sheets or lounging in the beauty and serenity of the ocean breeze.

How does that even make sense if you’re in pain, a war zone, an abusive relationship, or stuck on a ledge?

These are big questions.

Last Sunday I awakened early, skipping my morning ritual of exercise and meditation to make certain I got a choice seat to hear the dynamic Lisa Nichols, a woman who went from welfare to being the CEO of her own multi-million dollar corporation. I stood in line waiting for my friend who directs the filming for the global streaming of the live service. She saved a fourth row seat for me. After forty minutes of waiting we were allowed in. I found my seat then stepped out to use the bathroom. I wanted to be thoroughly ready and prepared to meditate and take in the wisdom of the speaker.

I washed my hands, left the bathroom and headed for my seat.

The tall, imposing, but kind usher held his hands up and stopped me.

“The meditation is closed now—no one is allowed in.”

“No, I have a seat in there!” I pleaded.

“I’m sorry, it’s closed.”

“Shit, no, you don’t understand. You have to let me in, I have a seat, I’ve waited. …”

Here I was in this spiritual center, NOT feeling centered, or spiritual. I was shocked, angry, denying and pleading all at the same time.

“You can go to the overflow room and meditate there. Once it’s over you can join in again. Just know, you are exactly where you are supposed to be.”

NO, I don’t want to be here! I thought, I want to be there, but recognizing I was where I was I retreated.

I walked into the darkened room illuminated only by the TV set that broadcast the images and sounds of what took place in the greater hall.

I sat with the meditation “you are exactly where you are supposed to be.” Hot tears streamed down my face in recognition this was bigger than just missing a group meditation. I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Things came up. My shit got in the way of me being where I wanted to be and where I am. God has a funny sense of humor and I almost never miss the metaphors.

When I resisted the thought, “I am where I am supposed to be,” it stung and hurt. When I accepted the thought, not because I believed it was a punishment or a hard lesson, but simply accepted the reality, I was where I was, in EVERY part of my life, a different feeling overcame me.

I thought about the baby chick, about to hatch, cramped and tight and in a totally polluted environment, which pecks at the shell to eke out every last bit of nutrients. I thought of the physical nature that pecking facilitates—the strengthening of neck muscles so necessary to survival.

“ I Am exactly where I am supposed to be.”

I sat with this mediation for a half an hour. Nelson Mandela practiced it for 30 years while imprisoned.

When asked, “How he survived being imprisoned for 30 years,” Mandela shot back, “I didn’t survive, I prepared. “

Acceptance is a giving way to or yielding, being present with the moment, whatever it is. Acceptance is close in meaning to the word ‘acquiescence’, derived from the Latin ‘acquiēscere’ “To find rest in.”

Ironically there is spaciousness in acceptance.

Resourcefulness emerges.

In his book The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle talks about “Not Minding what Happens. ” He quotes J. Krishnamurti, the great Indian philosopher and spiritual leader who surprised his audience by asking them, “Do you want to know my secret?” Many people had come to this master for 20 or 30 years, yet failed to grasp the essence of his teaching. Finally the master revealed his secret.

“I don’t mind what happens.” He said, with no further elaboration.

Often the simplest things are the most profound.

Ekart Tolle says:

“Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? What could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.”

Being where you are and believing that’s where you are supposed to be, is a mindset that is clearly more challenging to accept at times.

Yet….

What if you believed you chose each moment purposefully? How different would it be?

What insight, growth and movement might you have and make?

As it turns out, my moment was just the fertile ground I’d needed. Aside from digging into some deep personal growth about where I was and making new choices; I’d also wondered what I was going to blog about this week. This just wrote itself.