my daily reflections…

resentment took me to places within i never meant to live. i served self, not the HP i serve today. i thought that material wellbein would provide me with the happiness i thought my life was posed to be. and it did at first, but that happiness from the outside, i found out, didnt last. resentment, anger, and fear brought with it the indulgence of unhealthy behavioral character that later affected the wellbein of my emotional state. and without sayin, that brought another kind of unhealthy happiness, that only lasted a brief moment. learnin all of this through personal inventory, tellin it all to another, then hearin them give me the honest feedback i needed to hear, helped me to realize just how far down the scale of a healthy life i had fallen. it helped me to see the reasons why i turned to alcohol and drugs. i, alone, could not handle the unhappiness that usin material items, people, money, or anything else that provided momentary bliss, later turned into. my sponsor helped guide me to a solution that provided me with a relationship with somethin greater than i, or anything else could ever provide, which helped me to gain an inner happiness, that did. i found a new strength and peace from the realization that there was a Power greater than me that was runnin the universe and that was on my side when i lived a good life. with my sponsors guidance and help, i was able to find a solution to joel that offered many new opportunities for happiness and usefulness. givin all that up that kept me emotionally, psychologically, behaviorally, and spiritually debilitated, i was given a program that helped me see how resentment truly hurt me. i had to seek a spiritual lifestyle or continue on to the bitter end. recognizin that no matter how many times i got what i wanted through material things, it always passed. what i had always wanted was within me. my path through life has been easier to navigate since ive relieved myself of the burden of tryin to make outcomes match my expectations. since my recovery has begun ive had to grow into many realizations slowly, but as ive worked toward betterin me, ive grown past the resentment that used to try to kill me. all i have to do is continue to hold my face up to the Light, even though for the moment i may not see. today i know God and i know peace. 1 day @ a time...