my daily reflections…

it says on page 76 in the big book that if i am unwillin to give my HP my character defects and shortcomins that i must continue to try to become willin. it says on page 143 that to get over drinkin will require a transformation of thought and attitude. i understand that indispensable means absolutely necessary, essential, requisite, or incapable of bein disregarded or neglected. so, for me, willingness seems a fundamental spiritual principle. it is my will that directs my actions, and it is my actions that determine not only what i contribute to life, but what i can receive from it. that what i do is not fixed by fate or predetermined by chemistry. i must work toward acceptance and tolerance when i work toward becomin willin. there is also an aspect of humility involved for me too. i have to surrender to what ev it is i keep tryina take back once ive given it up to my HP. and hasnt my past shown me through personal inventory just what my will, or lack of willingness, has done for me. the answers are placed squarely in front of me on paper through my own writin. they have been discussed with my sponsor. they are not somethin that eludes me any longer, hidin behind my ego or pride. i need to also reach back into step 2 and use the hope i learned to help me. and if i use faith, how am i to truly continually remain unwillin. and if i remain unwillin, where is the gratitude to God and the acknowledgement of the blessin that God has sent me. if love is somethin i want to acquire and give, God needs to be an entity in my life that i acknowledge. if i want to receive his gifts and follow the open way for God to shower yet more blessins on my thankful heart, willingness is a spiritual principle i must practice. on a wing and a prayer, willingness is indispensable. i need to trust the process and that means extendin my self-esteem to rebuild and learn to trust me. when willin to pass along the kindness that has been shown me, i get to also know joy, a secondary effect of the primary action of willingness. sobriety, or recovery, without action is fantasy; without a change toward willingness, i dont get to grow in peace of mind. willingness is the change in thought and attitude within. 1 day @ a time...