my daily reflections…

doin the self-examination of steps 4 & 8 without the ability to ask my HP for guidance, then patiently awaitin for His direction with a time of meditation, does me no good. i understand the 12 spiritual principles are in a distinct order in which i must use them as laid out so i can learn how to be honest with myself, then do it, become hopeful from what i witness in others who have come in before me, that i too can get the sobriety and recovery they have, after becomin so hopeless while out doin my dirt, and then buildin a relationship with my HP and turnin that honesty and hope into faith in Him and the recovery He has guided me to, come before i even try to look at what within me makes me an alcoholic. these steps that precede self-examination, help me get into the practice of prayer and meditation. steps 6 & 7, help me learn that i must do and be a person who is willin to change remainin humble enough to see how what ive learned about myself in steps 4 & 5, were catalysts for why i did the things i did to others and myself. its all about me shuttin down my will and learnin how to surrender, tolerate, and accept the help of others and my HP so i live the change recovery offers. each require me to focus my attention and listen intently to another so i may become someone i have NEVER been before. after goin through such rigorous exploration and diagnosis, i set myself up for the spiritual awareness i need to continue forward after havin done the prior 10 steps as best as i can. i feel like when i know who and what i am, i have an opportunity to use the experience and knowledge, turned into wisdom, to live life with a continued goal of gettin even better. spiritual awareness lets me take me out of situations and circumstances so i can see the work my HP has done in the world around me. before my recovery i was blocked, i was NEVER blessed, only always lucky. today, i aint lucky anymore, im blessed. focusin and listenin, without insertin my will into life allows me to see and live His will so i can resume livin life, perseverin over obstacles which used to always have me searchin outside of myself for relief. today i get to find it from within, i get to know that it comes from within, from my HP. i have the ambition i need to use the strength He provides so i aint gotta live out the fears of resentment. 1 day @ a time...