Another morning ruined. Stale mouth and sweat Puking Cringing Memories flashing great atrocities.   In a sick aggressive nature I seek more.        

  Sexual trauma and co-dependency….finding the connection will be interesting. In Rosemary O’Connor’s book about taking care of ourselves in order to take care of our kids, she discusses two topics that go to the core of our self-esteem. Trauma consists of a deeply distressing or disturbing experience and it affects us on all levels: 

I’ve got this cat – his name is Bastian. A fifteen-year-old, stoic, Merlin-type with a childlike need for affection. A snowball of soft, pure-white fluff with spots of light gray like continents. His eyes are celestite marbles that vibrate when looking at you. Bounce side to side like one of those alarm clocks in a

Carolyn Elliott is my latest mentor and probably the most bullshit free teacher I’ve ever had. She has taught me the essence of being fearless and thorough, which is spoken about often in the recovery world, but rarely have I seen it……until now. This exquisite woman doesn’t just sparkle, she sizzles. When I came across

I’d address you by name but you have so many so I’ll just call you booze. When I first met you, you made me feel loved, secure and at peace. You lent me your strength. Your charm rubbed off on me. I felt like a better man when I embraced you. You had me from

Imagine living everyday wondering if your child is going to live or die Imagine second guessing every decision you have ever made and always asking why Imagine hugging your child so tight and thinking will he make it through the night Imagine your worst fears for your loved one coming true and when you reach

  In this next essay on Rosemary O’Connor’s wonderful book about being a mother in recovery, we tackle two very thorny subjects….dating and money. Let’s start with dating. I can’t count how many times I have heard a woman tell her story at a meeting, and at some point in the lead, she says “And

  I want the public to treat addiction as a disease, and to see all of those afflicted as their brother, or sister, or neighbor. And then I thought, “How does the public see an addict.” “When I was in active addiction, why did people on the streets scoff at me?” So I put all

This week we are looking at two chapters that have many similarities. Exhaustion is a state of being that most moms understand all too well, even if they are not dealing with addiction or recovery therefrom. We have been conditioned to believe that we need to be able to be and do everything…work, raise children,

I had a nightmare last night . Last night I was haunted by the spirits of my past; addictions and drug use. I was using cocaine, alcohol, marijuana and pills in my dream and I was selling cocaine. It was so realistic that I felt the effects of all these substances, I could barely walk