Main Toxic Beliefs that Keep You Stuck in Trauma?
Core beliefs are foundational ideas that shape how we see ourselves and the world. Often, these beliefs form early in life, based on our experiences and interactions with others.
Some beliefs are constructive, giving us confidence and purpose, but others—particularly for those who have endured trauma—can become negative and toxic.
These harmful beliefs are often the result of mistreatment or emotional abuse, and they can deeply impact our sense of self-worth and how we relate to others.
A toxic core belief might emerge in situations of persistent criticism or neglect. For example, if a partner constantly belittles you, makes you feel unworthy, or dismisses your feelings, you might begin to believe that “I’m not good enough.”
As this belief is reinforced, it may worsen over time to “No matter what I do, I can never be enough.” These beliefs are toxic because they trap us in a cycle of self-doubt and shame, preventing us from recognizing our true worth.
Such beliefs, when deeply ingrained, form what is known as a schema—a mental framework that distorts how we perceive ourselves and respond to others.
While schemas can be deeply embedded and hard to overcome, healing is possible. The journey often begins when we step away from the source of trauma and are finally able to gain perspective.
Recognizing toxic core beliefs and understanding their origins is essential to breaking free from their hold.
How Trauma Influences Our Core Beliefs?
When we find ourselves in a traumatic experience, we often don’t recognize it as trauma. Instead, we may feel a vague sense of unease or emotional distress, but we push through, often on autopilot, just trying to survive.
During these moments, our brains activate trauma responses—Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Fawn. These responses are instinctual survival tactics, helping us cope with the situation:
- Fight: Standing up or pushing back against the threat.
- Flight: Leaving or escaping the situation.
- Freeze: Becoming paralyzed or feeling stuck, unsure of how to react.
- Fawn: Appeasing the source of distress by being overly kind or accommodating, hoping it will diffuse the tension.
Each of us may use more than one of these responses, depending on the context. Yet, until we’re safe, we may not fully realize the impact of these responses or understand the extent of the trauma we’ve endured.
Recognizing Trauma After the Fact
Once the traumatic experience is behind us, we can finally start processing what we went through. This stage often brings clarity, allowing us to see the experience for what it was.
Sometimes, however, we need the support of friends, family, or professionals to help us articulate and make sense of the trauma. Traumatic experiences may not always seem significant on the surface, but they often leave us with lasting, uneasy emotions.
For many, talking to a therapist or a trusted confidant is essential for unraveling and understanding the effects of trauma.
Reflecting on my own experiences, it took time and therapy to understand that what I had normalized in an abusive relationship was, in fact, trauma.
During those years, my mind had accepted abusive behavior as “normal,” making it hard to recognize the toxicity of my circumstances.
Once removed from the situation, I could finally identify the abuse and the trauma responses I had relied on—shaking, freezing, fawning, and eventually choosing to leave.
How to Heal from Trauma?
The journey of healing from trauma and toxic core beliefs is gradual and ongoing. Even after leaving an abusive situation, you might still experience triggers, anger, or moments of self-doubt.
For me, it’s been a process of learning to let go of the “should haves” and “could haves,” accepting what was, and focusing on rebuilding a healthier sense of self.
Healing doesn’t happen overnight, but with time, support, and self-compassion, we can reclaim our sense of worth and identity. I am grateful to be out of the trauma, grateful for the support I received, and finally able to see things clearly.
STAR Network and TAR Anon™ – Your Support on the Path to Healing
Healing from trauma and toxic relationships is challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. STAR Network offers essential support for those on the journey to recovery.
Taranon.org
These meetings provide invaluable tools, coping strategies, and a community that offers encouragement and strength to overcome toxic core beliefs and trauma.
With resources for individuals affected by toxic relationships and parental alienation, STAR Network works alongside leading mental health professionals and advocates to foster healing and empowerment.
If you or someone you know is working through trauma, consider exploring STAR Network’s resources and joining TAR Anon™ support meetings. The path to healing becomes more manageable when walked alongside others who understand and support you.
