Over time, I’ve come to believe that we can gain the ability to see our stories and our experiences with new eyes. Search the past (though not to stay there) for clues.
We can discover the way the muck of our own lives resembles, in some ways, that of our mothers, grandmothers, great-grandmothers, or other family members. And importantly, we can learn that we don’t have to stay stuck there.
I’ve also uncovered along a recovery journey, that when we ask the questions: what is it about our family trees that allows particular forms of trauma to spread like a disease? Why do some of our lineages foster hardships like sexual trauma, addiction, unhealthy relationships, and more? And how can we move beyond a cycle of family brokenness, suffering, and trauma?
We can open our hearts and minds to learn and see new things about our experience.
We can begin to fly above the mess and live in freedom, breaking the cycle so that we can live more joyfully and ensure that our children don’t have to live in our chains.
We can heal the tree.
In my new book, YOU ARE NOT YOUR TRAUMA: UPROOT UNHEALTHY PATTERNS, HEAL THE FAMILY TREE, I’m going to share with you what I’ve learned about intergenerational trauma and recovery from my personal experience, from research, and from your stories.
Together, we are also going to uncover that healing is deeper than a trending Ted Talk’s big idea. Recovery is deeper than a formula designed to concoct the right solution. Recovery isn’t a moment in time where we arrive. Recovery is a process.
I identify as a woman in recovery (from addiction, trauma, anxiety, depression, men, ice cream, the list goes on) and also an expert in the field of behavioral health and social work, having worked with thousands of individuals looking for solutions. I’ve also had the opportunity to build things like non-profit recovery homes for women, statewide peer support organizations, and even a recovery ministry, all centered on one truth: transformation is possible. Our stories, even the broken pieces, can be redeemed.
I know this. People I’ve worked with have experienced it. I’ve witnessed the way recovery brings light back to the eyes. Maybe you have, too.
In this book, for all my list-lovers out there, I also outline a series of five rhythms that help guide us to a greater understanding and acceptance of our past and towards a freer recovery. They can be transformational focus points along our journey towards healing. This framework can lead us to break free from past wounds or work to disrupt them.
This is a bold statement and a weighty promise, I know, but I truly believe these rhythms can help your life the way they have helped mine—and continue to today.
[you’ll have to get the book to learn more about the 5 rhythms]
These rhythms are grounded in the truth that’s been woven across time and curls through the earth like the roots of an old Oak. Healing can happen. No matter our past and no matter our monsters. The future is ripe with possibility. Transformation is possible.
Again, these steps aren’t a formula. (Aren’t we all a little tired of the self-help gimmicks?) For you, sweet reader, these rhythms create movement. They will help you inch towards freedom one day at a time.
Progress over perfection.
Let’s get there together.
