When I ask this BIG QUESTION about relationships most people tell me what they don’t want. “I don’t want someone who lies or cheats. I don’t want someone who doesn’t communicate. I don’t want someone who’s lazy.” When I ask what someone wants in a job, they might reply: “I don’t want to be chained
Deep down inside of me, right down the hallway from where I keep my skeletons in the closet, was an old not so well lit room. It had no windows, wreaked of stale beer and cigarette smoke and was probably one of the most inhospitable of places you can find if you ask me. I
I will never forget the first time I heard the phrase Surrender to Win. It was shared at one of the 12 step meetings I attended in early recovery. It’s a very powerful statement….but what does it mean? I give up? I’m a loser? My life is just over? I am a failure? Instead of
The screen is blank. A bottle of Pellegrino on the small bronze table ahead. My feet are propped on a blue and white patterned pouf ottoman. I was in the kitchen a few minutes ago before sitting down. Had every intention to write about control, a topic in my AA meeting this morning. But a
“Don’t die with the music still in you.” – Rosemary O’Connor In this chapter of O’Connor’s self-help book, Rosemary examines the concept of living life in recovery. We don’t get clean or sober to live in a bubble or to just stay frozen in time. While in our addiction, we never thought about the
“Don’t Listen To Yourself. Talk TO yourself.” These were the words of Jon Dorenbos, a pro-football player, contestant on America’s Got Talent. A juicy piece of wisdom he dealt out while shuffling cards for his special brand of magic that was as much inspirational as it was sleight of hand. These powerful words, likely missed
I’m so honored to have had the opportunity to interview Jennifer Matesa for The Cafe’s first ever podcast. We talk about her upcoming book which tackles sexuality and sexual empowerment in recovery. A must read for all recovering people! Pre-order her book here “Sex In Recovery is a work long overdue. In a frank,
A single mirrored drop of water sails through thick coastal air. A single drop expelled from heavy gray clouds, joins a school of like-minded peers free falling. A single drop swan dives, splatters against my windshield. Pushed aside by the wiper, like a finger washing tears from his cheek. The vent blows cool air in
Sexual trauma and co-dependency….finding the connection will be interesting. In Rosemary O’Connor’s book about taking care of ourselves in order to take care of our kids, she discusses two topics that go to the core of our self-esteem. Trauma consists of a deeply distressing or disturbing experience and it affects us on all levels:
