When it came to finding a new way to live, it was really hard for me to figure out the first three steps. There was this whole, 'God' thing to consider. When I was new to recovery, I didn't trust anyone. I doubted myself to stay clean. I had a lot of self doubt and self hatred. And now I was expected to have faith in something?!
That was absurd! How could there be anything that was good in this world? That was how I saw it.
It took me exploring weather or not I could have faith in anything before I could move forward in my recovery. Faith has MANY definitions in the dictionary. (see blow) Faith also could be substituted for words like acceptance, belief, confidence, conviction, hope, loyalty, or truth.
But the way I found out that I could believe there was anything out there that was good or believed in me (because I definitely didn't think even I had it out good for me) was to answer this one question: Is there anything in the universe that has my best interests at heart?
I answered with, my ancestors. And it was like a wave of bright light made of calm washed over me. It was only then that I could move forward with the steps and with confidence that I was and am loved. That I could be trusted.
Do you think that faith plays a large part in your recovery or the way you see yourself?
Faith as defined in the dictionary
1.confidence or trust in a person or thing: faith in another's ability.
2.belief that is not based on proof: He had faith that the hypothesis would be substantiated by fact.
3.belief in God or in the doctrines or teachings of religion: the firm faith of the Pilgrims.
4.belief in anything, as a code of ethics, standards of merit, etc.: to be of the same faith with someone concerning honesty.
5.a system of religious belief: the Christian faith; the Jewish faith.
6.the obligation of loyalty or fidelity to a person, promise, engagement, etc.: Failure to appear would be breaking faith.
7.the observance of this obligation; fidelity to one's promise, oath, allegiance, etc.: He was the only one who proved his faith during our recent troubles.
8.Christian Theology. the trust in God and in His promises as made through Christ and the Scriptures by which humans are justified or saved.
OTHER WORDS FOR FAITH
acceptance, belief, confidence, conviction, hope, loyalty, truth
Author
alaskanhiddenkitten
I am out in all the ways possible. I am a decolonized, poly, pan, kinky, addict, two-spirit, genderfluid, single parent. I am a loving, determined, creative, person. I adore children, education, life, culture, learning, books, expression.