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August 13 I can love myself When I remember all the times I got high, all the junk I ate, all the sleep I lost, all the anger I kept inside (and the times I hurt myself through a rage turned inward), I realize that I have not loved myself much. It scares me to look back and imagine where I was headed. But slowly through recovery, I have begun to turn my life around, and today I am doing things differently. I am clean and sober, eating better on a regular schedule, and getting the rest I need. I’m even taking medication to help me with my psychiatric symptoms. I feel shy saying it (I guess it’s just not familiar), but I care about myself today and I truly want to be healthy. Today I will look at myself in the mirror and say “I love you”—or at the very least, “I’m worth caring about.” Anonymous. Today I Will Do One Thing: Daily Readings For Awareness and Hope (Hazelden Meditations) . Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.
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Before 6-17-85 I was a 21yr old working for Mobil oil as a Lab Tech making REAL good money. I was a party animal with a nice Z28 and a brand new Ninja motor cycle. Then my profile picture happened (the pic can be seen in my albums it is my Z28 broken in half) and changed my life in a few aspects... TBI - (Traumatic Brain Injury), LeftHemi - (Left-hemisphere paralysis) , L aka - (Left above knee amputation). and even after all that it still took me another 10 yrs to figure out that it was not the fact that "I didn't know the road" that caused my accident. But maybe the fact that I had been drinking, drugging and doing what was determined to be around 110 mph when I hit the tree. Ever sense that awakening things have gotten better then worse, then better then worse in my life. I see life as a heart monitor when it is going up and down you are alive, when it all levels out your not.

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