my daily reflections…

i can recall NEVER bein happy within with how, what ev it was, bein as i wanted it. whether success or failure, i always wanted it a different way. it never seemed to matter whether i was on top or the bottom. it was NEVER good enough or the pain was too severe. with these inner warfare of hostile feelins, my recourse to solve em was another slug from the whiskey jug. surrender, acceptance, or tolerance, was never a thought. i could not acknowledge the events, or self-acceptance, of allowin myself to just be. recovery taught me the character defects and shortcomins of these emotions through its moral inventory. i learned how this shit kept me locked, and blocked, from ever experiencin the proper ways my HP had intended. i always made em greater or less than there intended purpose. today these character buildin and spiritual values help me navigate life as i proceed through my recovery journey. i get to live with a yeildin, consentin, permissive, understandin that helps me grow my humility, livin with a healthy sense of pride. 1 day @ a time...