my daily reflections…

surrender has much to do with my ability to use the spiritual principle of hope today. when i go to thinkin i got this shit, without the clarity of thought, or takin the time to assess what ev it is im tryna do, i am immediately blocked by my spiritual malady from usin what recovery has taught me or from learnin from my HP. what then is the stability of my personal humility? reliance upon self is what i used to use and look what that shit got me! even with the limerence i placed upon alcohol back in the days of doin my dirt, bein obsessively infatuated with it, usually accompanied by delusions of, or a desire for an intense romantic relationship with it, thinkin it would pull through for me, lack of any humility was always bypassed because, i, knew what was good for me. today, i dont want to be limited by my spiritual malady, i want to be able to live and experience life, even if it means success or failure. when i use humility today i get to feel the hope recovery provides for me and i get to move toward a faith in somethin other than a liquid, mind alterin substance, or self. i get to walk on a path toward a fulfillin and wholesome effective faith. recovery taught me not to be so close minded toward ideas, like maybe, just maybe, i could be vulnerable enough to ask for help without actin or soundin like a helpless bitch. i could be open minded and be honest enough to admit i dont know everythin and need help. it taught me that humility, when i used it rightly, would help me just as everythin else in recovery has proved so. when i put myself in a position of humility, admittin my human weaknesses, hope that i can get better with my HPs help and the fellowship, it will happen. when i remain on a path toward faith, i get to find my enjoyment of life, so i may reflect my HPs love for the world. i dont have to procrastinate doin things because im stumped at the moment and think only, i, can find a better way. ive learned over the years of my recovery that i can have a purposeful and effective willpower when it is not wrapped in the shroud of my spiritual malady. my willingness today to surrender and use my HPs intuitive understandin, leads me to faith. 1 day @ a time...