my daily reflections…

with the hope that step 2 provides, i get to make the venture into the faith step 3 cultivates. i had heard others say how they had surrendered their will over to their HP when i first came into the rooms. watchin their footsteps after hearin their stories i began to have hope that i too could receive the gifts recovery has to offer as they had. i always had faith that a jug of whiskey would take my troubles, so, bein without alcohol and feelin the flood of emotion i was experiencin, i needed somethin. and i reckon it kinda made sense to me to change the faith i had in it to somethin else. my sponsor suggested i use the program of recovery as my HP until i could form a relationship with one of my own conception. that seemed plausible and doable. i had used alcohol to the point where i had been proved helpless over it and let it destroy my life even as i loved it so. it was all part of surrenderin, not only my spiritual malady, but my life. if others could do it and live successfully, why couldnt i? the power i thought alcohol had, surely showed its ass in my early days of recovery, and i could feel it beckon my name over and over again in my head. little by little i continued to surrender and as faith began to prove itself out within, i could start feelin and realizin the life, joy, peace, and healin that was happenin to me. as i slowly accepted what i had done to myself, the positive and creative foundation i was learnin to stand on started bein somethin that was manifested within. i could sense the spiritual principle of optimism start changin my behavior which affected my thinkin. i could feel trust began to fill me; i could feel it within, what they had told me would happen, was happenin. it had to be faith, what else could it have been? hope had started to develop an undeniable form of faith, which eventually grew into a reliance upon the God of my youth. i learned that entertainin the spiritual principle of hope meant that i had to recognize fear just as i was beginnin to recognize faith. faith started to have an effect on the ways i acted and reacted to anxiety. i began to build a healthy and positive ability for thinkin through solutions carefully rather than makin snap judgments out of the anxiety a “normal” life without alcohol was presentin me. and the amazin thing was, and still is today, is that when i sense anxiety alertin me to a problem, i can face the fear, and learn and grow from dealin with it with faith. 1 day @ a time...