my daily reflections…

with an understandin that i had made an early surrender by merely reachin out for help with my alcoholism, throwin out little bits of self and hope, and seein the results of those releases, turnin my will over to the care of God was still somethin i balked at early on. and even still today my self-will can get in the way of the relationship ive built with my HP. this is where the honesty of step 1 comes into play for me. i must recall all of the pieces of self i have thrown out into the wind and what the results of those uncertainties were. with each piece thrown out, the return was as unusually expected as a fart in the wind. what i thought might or would happen didnt, but what i did receive was the miracle of what recovery has to offer. whatever it may have been i was askin about or fishin for, came back to me just as what i needed, not what i wanted. never did it cause harm to others or myself unless it was my self-will or want. it always seemed to work out for the best. with the results i experienced it became evident to me that what those in the rooms and my sponsor were doin and suggestin to me, provided me the evidence i needed that my life, ran on self-will was not, nor could be, a success. the faith in my HP i was buildin was bein strengthened by the personal witness of other alcoholics. they showed me how honesty, purity, unselfishness, and love were spiritual principles they were livin, and they were givin me the keys so i could too. recallin those early times, today i have no question that when i do what im posed to, be honest and have faith, i get to live with piece of mind. they taught me how faith was a healthy way to live the relationship i was buildin with my HP and helped me make each of the spiritual principles they lived goals for me to live toward too. ive experienced how the rewards of recovery are granted every day. each day i begin with the gift of a new day and new possibilities. i get to sustain the relationships ive built with others because of the faith ive grown. i get to have a new feelin of self-respect and hope from the rewards of each day in my spiritual awakenin. with the gift of an untroubled mind, i have a clear channel with my HP that is not choked up with anger, fear, frustration, or misunderstandin. this permits me to continue to the surest help of all, my search for Gods will, not my own. 1 day @ a time...