my daily reflections…

recovery has taught me to keep myself in check each day with personal inventory. just as i may have several years of recovery under my belt, it doesnt mean that i am cured. there is no place i would rather be than in the comfort of my HPs arms. so, why then would i allow myself to be entangled by any confusin or troublesome self-induced situation, especially one from which it is difficult to free myself. i cannot predict the future, and surely i have lived and gained wisdom of who and what i am allowin myself to use that experience to solve problems that may arise, but i cannot always rely upon me alone for the answers. sometime things outside of me can interrupt feelins within that cause me troubles. in dealin with those emotions and interruptions, i may want to keep them, allowin myself to feel the comfort of what my instinct tells me is good, warm, and comfortin. in the end this self-will does me no good; it only causes me more trouble later on. with inventory i get to see those kept items and emotions that want to keep me emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually sick. today, i want to, and need to, be responsible for myself and my recovery. allowin myself to be human and feel emotions is all fine and good, but keepin em without tryna fix em, keeps me in the wrong. i dont get to grow when i cut off contact with my HP, the fellowship, or myself. wastin my time on nurturin wounds that are meant to be let go of, only serves to harm my self-esteem. my life isnt to be wasted on such folly, hell man, i did enough of that while out doin my dirt. i can be vulnerable, but i need to remember i dont have the ultimate control i once thought i had. fixin these things with the help of my HP and daily inventory i get to help God in seein my value. recovery has given me tools and solutions needed to fix me, not er’body else. relaxin and takin it easy, i get to receive the inspiration, an intuitive thought, or a decision on how i can see my part, work toward fixin it, and move forward. 1 day @ a time...