my daily reflections…

when people speak to me in such the manner that they are demandin or tryna call me out i can tend to react to it in an unfavorable way toward them. it isnt hard for me to perceive if they are tryin to be aggressive toward me when they speak to me like that. why then, would i think that if i speak to another in much the same manner they wouldnt react to it much as i? recovery has given me the tools to react to others with fairness and tolerance, but that doesnt mean they are gonna do the same. back in the days of doin my dirt, when i felt like i was bein attacked, i used defenses to deflect the perceived attack or gave back what i was bein given, and even sometimes today, i repeat those same poor choices. this most always doesnt solve the problem or deescalate the moment, it generally only tends to escalate it to even worse problems for the other and myself. i dig that people, just as i, may, at times, need to be on the offense to come to a conclusion, and today, i can handle that a little differently than i have in the past. it doesnt mean that i allow myself to get run over, it just means that i can listen intently to what they have and hopefully help to come to an equaled and shared solution. when and if i am behavin hastily or rashly, i am runnin shit on my self-will tryin to exact some kind of ego or self-righteousness. i am then cut off from any incomin influence or helpful communication with my HP. today livin my life in recovery and tryina practice what it offers, i want to be fair-minded and tolerant, not biased or prejudice, nor narrow-minded or unsympathetic. with forgiveness and balance i can offer a lovin behavior to either a query i may have, or a response to one, from another. boilin down, or comin to terms with, my motives, its only fair to let people know whether im truly lookin for advice and are open to suggestions. trustin my inner voice i can sense what is good and what is bad. when i am open-minded and use courage i can hear, and listen to, that inner intuitive voice and respond accordingly in a manner that doesnt escalate any problem or raise doubt, another may have. its been my experience that i cannot enjoy life if i constantly try to avoid or control it, but rather face and treat the world around me as i would like to be. livin to good morals today helps me learn how i can better improve. when i stop resistin, and listen or talk with compliance, til the problem is figured out, bein helpful instead of argumentative, i usually dont get my ass whooped. 1 day @ a time...