my daily reflections…

“livin in the now” used to be so hard for me before my recovery began. seemed the only way i could shut my mind off was to drink or drug it down, and that truly never stopped it allowin me to take in the “right now” or “live in the moment”. there was always somethin better tomorrow, always somethin better from yesterday, or somethin more important. recovery, as its process isnt somethin that i can get or know just from a short class or course, has taken me time to acquire, it hasnt been an overnight matter gained through osmosis. with everythin ive learned, its taken me time to learn it. the “i knows” do not work for me in recovery, i have to experience it to gain wisdom from it. when i take in whats goin on in my life “right now”, this moment, livin it as best as i can, learnin from it, i set myself up for success in the next moment and clear the wreckage of my past. what ive found is that it helps me to focus on the knowledge and wisdom i have gained from prior experience. if i want to keep myself spiritually bankrupt, one of the best ways for me to do this is to not “live in the moment”. livin in my soul sickness, with a revulsion against myself, not experiencin this moment, not allowin myself to gain a new way of livin, keeps life impossible for me to receive any happiness, joy, or peace of mind. when i take the time to experience “right now”, i get to participate in a oneness of purpose which puts me in harmony with God and others. is there any better feelin within than when a connection is made, especially if im willin to live it and know, i belong? ive learned that discipline is rememberin what i want. today i get to feel comfort, pleasure, and a high that nothin else could match when i experience this moment. because of simple discipline, deep in my soul lies a desire to be a good man, to be me, to grow from this moment freely. ive learned that resentment is not gettin my way in the past, i aint gotta live in it. ive learned that fear is not gettin my way in the future, i aint gotta live in it. when relinquished from self, livin my HPs will, “right now”, both of the prior are influenced to change when i “live in the now”. i aint gotta know, i can live in vulnerability, surrenderin, toleratin, and acceptin now for what it is. 1 day @ a time...