my daily reflections…

when i came into the rooms this time my sponsor suggested that i use the program of recovery as an HP until i could develop a relationship with one of my own conception. he warned me against usin the fellowship as he said that the fellowship is human, and humans had the potential to fail me. he said the program wouldnt as its spiritual principles never change. one can look in any big book on any page and throughout the years the steps have not changed, they remain the same. today i have a conception of an HP i choose to call God. my HP is somethin i can turn to anytime for the answers i need, provided i dont try to sway the communication toward my will. maintainin a God conscious throughout my recovery has given me what i have today. through readin the big book ive gained knowledge of how i can use the wisdom of my past to better my life forward. through readin i am able to experience in my mind all the hope of my future and better understand my past. today, i understand that my connection to the universe is nourished through the education ive experienced through my lifes trials. because of the use of the program as my HP in my early recovery and the use of the book, i no longer feel as i am different, and that i deserve recovery. i can see the seriousness of my alcoholism and am aware that i do belong to a vast fellowship of people like me. when i try to go to makin excuses, and even when they have a certain plausibility, none of them really makes sense in the light of the havoc my drinkin creates. today, my brain has cleared with the grace of clarity. i dont have to justify, argue, defend, or explain my actions like i used to. i have gained the confidence and integrity through a willingness to surrender, tolerate, and accept who and what i am through the teachins of my HP and the literature of the program. the relationship i have today with my HP lets me know i am not alone, that i have others around me, and together we can do what i alone cannot. i reckon thats why it is called universal love. 1 day @ a time...