my daily reflections…

it has been my experience that God will provide me the answers and things i need freely. but there is more to it than the reception of such gifts. once ive received em, if i want to keep em, i must do what it takes to keep them. it means cooperation on my part, on my behalf, so that i may continue to grow what ive been so freely given. many times, i must surrender, consent to live life different than i ever have before. and it can be quite fearful. the blessin of recovery is that there are others who have done it prior and are placed in my life so i may ask them how they did it. i have to be willin to admit that i can be wrong, and that it is ok for me not to know everythin. when i have done this wholeheartedly, i am afforded an opportunity to change from within outward. much of the legitimacy ive ever searched for in life wasnt material to begin with. they were emotions i had mistakenly thought others should give me unconditionally without me doin anythin to get them. well, recovery has taught me that people aint God. if i want to get the warmth i thought in the past should be automatically given to me, i have to be willin to give it first. and there is more to it than that, i have to actually commit the action and behavior of givin respect, forgiveness, love, hope, empathy, or any other of the things i took for granted while out doin my dirt before my recovery began. the many weaknesses i still have today, become assets because ive faced me, examined my character defects and shortcomins, and have found that their origins point right back to me. today i get to experience the power of my HPs grace in my life, and i get to tell others my story on how ive received it and what i get to do with it. i get to thank Him for the life i experience in the moment by givin away what ive been given. i get to take the risk of bein present in my own life in every minute, every hour, feelin every human emotion He meant for me to feel. the effectiveness of recovery rests upon how well and earnestly i have tried to come to a decision to turn my will and life over to the care of God as i understand Him. today i cannot avoid whats right in front of me. today i can surrender to it and let Him help me work toward growin it in my life with the help of others, not all alone. its not where i was that counts, but where i am goin. 1 day @ a time...