my daily reflections…

havin learned so much about who and what i am, havin learned solutions to overcome the many things i used to be and can still be, and havin practiced those solutions to live a life of change, i can still become complacent if i am not vigilant. ive learned through all the work ive done on self that sometimes it is ok to stop and rest, but i must not let that time of rest turn into laziness or apathy. complacency is a comfortin feelin for me, it allows me to feel the security of what recovery has brought me. so, its not all bad, but i mustnt allow it to stop me from growin or workin my personal program of recovery. idk bout ya’ll, but my life evolves, it never stops turnin, even when i stop. i learned that my alcoholism doesnt stop either, and it is awaitin its opportunity to turn terror, bewilderment, frustration, and despair loose within me. to fall into complacencies aftereffects can often turn into even deeper troubles. ive watched others in the rooms try to rely on one specific area of their personal program of recovery and have it fail them, returnin them back to the hell they worked so hard to free themselves from. i dont want to go the routes complacency can have me goin. i think of becomin complacent and livin the deeper effects of it. shit like false sense of pride, avoidin the shit i really need to take care of, developin ideas that dont have me actively workin or tryin to become a better person, or finally beginnin to rely on self turnin my back on my HP. my adherence to a program of recovery allows me to live in peace, one moment at a time. life is a series of things to let go of, only i, my inner self, is a constant to be found and learned about every day, in the present moment. lettin complacency turn in into the shit described, only invites danger for me. it is not probable that i am gonna be inspired at all times, so times of rest are needed. my task is to not let this presumption have me start doin all sorts of absurd behaviors and thinkin and believin dumb shit, like, “i got this”. through prayer and meditation i get to regularly allow myself to persevere in my everyday recovery. 1 day @ a time...