my daily reflections…

if i want to live to a good purpose there are conditions i must meet. first and foremost, not takin that first drink. and secondly, keep myself in good emotional health. each of these conditions require work on my behalf. sometimes the work is easy, but most times, it involves me diggin into areas of self usin recovery to seek out and correct the personality problems im experiencin at any given moment in time. and it is this acid test of life after gainin the wisdom recovery offers that i must contend with. now if there were nobody on earth like before my recovery began, the shit might be easy, but recovery has had the effect of havin me build relationships with others. and often times, its the relationships with others that can cause me to have emotional break downs. i reckon this all leads to my want to try to control every aspect of my life, even those in my life whom i want in my life today. we are all different and its been my experience that even though i may form a connection with another and have a relationship with them, their thoughts, likes, needs, and wants, are different than mine. this can be the catalyst for causin me emotional upset. the practice of step 10s perseverance allows me the opportunity to hone the prior steps spiritual principles. it is in that practice i get to grow my spirituality by practicin them as i interact with the people i meet throughout my day. its where i put the theory of the spiritual principles into practical use experiencin the miracle of the grace my HP and recovery have bestowed upon me. it is the time for me to practice a yielded will. when my will is attuned to the will of God, i get to experience the good life i always dreamed of while out doin my dirt, with those around me. givin my will up i get to let loose my convictions which are, in truth, more dangerous enemies of my truth, than lies. it is where i get to ask my HP to help me manage the monster that lives within me, my alcoholism. in the simplicity of my recovery, its when i get to either work on recovery or work on a relapse. 1 day @ a time...