my daily reflections…

facin the person i was, was somethin i didnt want to do while out doin my dirt. hell man, i surely didnt want to do it while sober either. but as the days droned on in my early recovery and i listened to the people who had come into the rooms before me, i heard how they had solved the problems they had by a simple reliance upon their HP and doin what this thing we do said to. sho nuff i heard em talk about their personal inventory and the fear they had about it. it was a darin look at who they really were, but they did anyway. i was sittin in a meetin before i had approached the 4th step and the woman speakin was talkin about her 4th step. i remember hearin what i could, but the thing that she said that stuck with me the most was she felt a freedom flow into her as she processed her 4th step and then gave the tell of it, with the 5th step, to her sponsor. from that one meetin and havin started buildin my recovery from step 1, i had learned to be honest with myself. step 2 offered me hope from people like the woman that told of her experience with her 4th step. and i had begun to build a relationship with my HP as a result of step 3. even as fear had tried to make a mark on my recovery, my sponsor assured me that i could overcome that fear by simply startin to write. so thats what i did, i wrote shit down. with the spiritual principle of step 10 bein perseverance, i reckon those early steps and the follow through of doin em was a beginnin to learnin how to persevere. sometimes the simplest of tasks teach me what i need to learn. lookin at me was tough to do back in those days. today, havin persevered doin it for years, lookin at me aint somethin fear has much a chance at. when i remain willin to be changed for the better, callin upon my HP to help with that change, i get the courage from step 4 to use step 10 and persevere, so i can look within and find the areas that i need to work on. trustin my HP and the recovery process i have a chance to let the fear go when its strong so i may grow toward a better spiritual existence. the twelve-step program gives me hope that today will be handled with ease. recovery has inculcated me so i will know what to do when fear is sensed within. today i get to live a contented, useful life, because i know nothin short of continuous action usin these principles as a way of life can bring the much desired result. sobriety without action is fantasy. 1 day @ a time...