my daily reflections…

an old way of thinkin fer me is to believe that i have every right to be pissed at someone fer harmin me. after all they are the ones that did the shit, i didnt. well, recovery has offered me a different option on the subject of handlin my emotions, thinkin, and behaviors. its not wrong for me to feel the effects of anothers harmful words or actions toward me, but it is wrong for me not to forgive em and allow my HP to help me heal from my perception of their wrong doins. it doesnt mean that i forget whats been done or said, it just merely means that i forgive em and move on with my life learnin from the experience. it kind of lends to the faith i have in my HP that He will help me move away from my old patterns of thinkin and behavin. it also lends to bein of service to others and my HP in that to harbor resentment and fear, im blocked from receivin the good my HP and recovery has to offer me cause im all wrapped up in my own shit. to go out of my own way to be of service toward others is to forgive, not keep unhealthy acrimony, bitterness, or grudges. today i value what i have in life. it is my understandin that value means that life is not to be wasted, nor time. just cause i may be a vulnerable human bein, i aint got ultimate control, i dont know when my life will end, when i shall die, or when time and opportunity will be no more! life is too precious to waste. why waste and burn up my values on the uncontrollability and unmanageability of resentment. im tryina fix me, not the other person. when i remember, i aint got time to do what used to keep me emotionally, psychologically, behaviorally, and spiritually sick, i havent time for da pettiness of exasperation. i must remind myself that my spirituality has a lot to do with the way i use my life energy. the more i put myself in recoverys path, the more the recovery wind keeps me movin, growin, and perseverin. emotional stability, sanity, and balance as to how i treat others, is a consequence of the depth of my spirituality. reliance on God enables me to match calamity with serenity, providin me with peace of mind. 1 day @ a time...