my daily reflections…

lettin loose my self-will has gotten easier as my time in recovery has progressed. i reckon it aint ever gonna go away, at least thats what ive learned from listenin to others in the rooms. but that doesnt mean i cant keep an eye on it and when i start feelin or seein it and go to showin my ass, i cant stop and rethink the situation that is causin me fear cause its steppin all over my ego. ive learned how this can happen through the personal inventories of step 4 & 8. ive also learned that faith can play a big part in helpin me overcome the fear of false pride and egotistical thinkin, attitudes, and behaviors. i aint tryina say that i should let myself, my emotions, or others step all over me, cause that aint what recovery teaches me. what im tryina communicate is that when i use faith as its meant to be used, and sometimes thats faith in my ability to have confidence in myself, or even more so faith in what ive gained from the experience and knowledge those personal inventory steps provided me, i can easily see how control over any situation is usually beyond me and i must rely upon my HP to guide me. its not always about gettin what i want, most times its lettin others get what they want, and followin my HPs guidance in helpin em get what they are lookin for. its how i can be used as a channel to express the Divine Love of my HP. kindness and gratitude are connected because i can show a gratefulness for the kindnesses that i receive in my life from the faith i have in my HP. i can show and give kindness because i need kindness. ive learned in recovery that i need to do the work of love and use the faith i have in my HP. the healthy sense of confidence in self when i see someone hurtin and offer an ear to listen is an act of gratitude for what my HP and recovery have given me. i can hold on and let the possibilities exist that are existent in my spiritual awareness and reality. i mean after all, what is the quality of my faith? faith and spiritual awareness offer me opportunities to grow my spirituality. 1 day @ a time...