my daily reflections…

prayer & meditation today include askin and listenin for my HPs will. ive already lived the experience of what my negative self-will can do. and it doesnt mean that i dont use my will today because i do, i just use it differently now that ive learned what my will has brought me in the past. my alcoholism built up an unreal world for me and i tried to live in it before my recovery began. the only resources i used while out doin my dirt were the ones i wanted, and the result of those resources never provided the right fruit. each time i used my will back then only proved to weaken my character and one more brick was put in place in the wall i built to keep everybody out. recovery taught me not to run away, but to face reality, and work at takin those bricks down by livin with a purpose. that purpose today is an honest effort to do as i have learned is right by others and myself. and as ya know, not always do i know or understand the right way to precede, so askin and listenin for my HPs will is necessary today. today is my 54th birthday and this mornins prayer & meditation wasnt a plea to get the material shit i thought i wanted, it was a plea to my HP to help better use His will in service to others. when i have done this in my recovery, ive learn to rely on Gods power more and more and in that reliance, i gain an insight into the greater value of the things of the spirit, broadenin my spiritual awareness. ive learned how contentment with His will has taken away the want to control or wait for people or situations to change in order to experience peace and harmony. ive learned to accept my life as it is, findin joy in what i have. its not gettin what i want, its wantin what i got. when i rely on His will i aint gotta live in fear of whats gonna happen. like fire, my will is a great power capable of either warmin and givin life or of burnin and destroyin everythin it touches. as i live in acceptance of His will, as best as i humanly can, i am learnin not to borrow trouble from the future. i get to live with the wisdom and knowledge of the past usin it to experience life as I live His will. thy will be done, not mine. 1 day @ a time...