my daily reflections…

faith, i lose it when my spiritual malady steps in to take over my life. hope has no avenue for healthy development, existence, or survival, when im wrapped in self. today, my first inclination when i run into difficult situations is to quickly thumb through my mind thinkin bout any possible situation i may have encountered in the past and successfully use the wisdom that recovery has taught me to move through it as gracefully as i can. now, to be honest, in a perfect condition, that is the correct way for me to behave in response to any stimuli. but not always does life come at me where i can find and use the clarity recovery has taught me. it has been my experience that when i react immediately to an impetus without stoppin for that quick sec to gather myself and use the wisdom i have, my self-will, my spiritual malady, jumps to the forefront of my mind and i react in ways that are often unhealthy and harmful to others and myself. however, when i take that quick pause, i allow myself to acknowledge my humanness so that i may behave usin what recovery has taught me. this also gives me the stability to enact my HPs will realizin that i am powerless without His influence. when i hold my face to the light, even though i may be blinded by His proper influence, i get to participate in a manner that is unlike me. i get to see the outcome of the actions done which helps me to believe more deeply in His mastery. as i work toward stayin committed to the way of life recovery has taught me, i dont have to create more chaos, doin things all higgledy-piggledy, losin a focused, well-worn path. usin self-restraint, limitin the frugality of my self-will with correct moderation, people, places, things, and events that can trigger my alcoholic way of thinkin, dont have the chance to have me showin my ass. when i can act, with hope and faith before, instead of reactin after, i get to show and live the effectiveness my HP has granted me. it feels good to see and feel the results of maintainin my spiritual condition. with gratitude for the spiritual awareness ive been gifted, i get to continue livin a manuscript for rational, sane livin. 1 day @ a time...