my daily reflections…

i was bitchin one day to my sponsor about how i felt i wasnt gettin what i was rightly deserved and how i wanted to get back at someone. well, ya know how well rounded and grounded sponsors are who actually work and live the spiritual principles of recovery and have had that spiritual awakenin nstuff? yeah mannn, i got one of those guys for a sponsor! he let me bitch for a minute and then asked me what my part in the problem i was havin was. then, he laid down the infodemic I so badly needed to hear by sayin that when i had truly grown in understandin and effectiveness, was truly continuin to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear, that the problem i was havin would be an easy one to solve if i was to honestly look at my part, then do as the big book said. he said some shit like, when these things crop up within me, i ask God at once to remove them, i discuss whats goin on with someone immediately and make amends quickly if i have harmed anyone. then this wise guy sponsor of mine continued to say he resolutely turned his thoughts to someone he could help. he said, for when he had ceased fightin anythin or anyone-even alcohol, sanity returned. he then said i aint gotta like it, i just had to do likewise. and that if it were someone i was hatin on that i didnt have to like em, but i had to love em. and topped it off with love and tolerance of others is our code. he always threw that shit right back at me with the awesomeness from the big book. once again humble pie was eaten, not just a slice, but the whole damned thing. he showed me and taught me how unconditional love was the kind of love that has no price tag on it. that by doin as the big book said i could continue to clean house, trust God, and serve others. as i left him that day, pissed off and feelin like shit, i had to go home and dig into the book. i had to write some shit down, i had to lose my restlessness by findin rest in God by prayin for His will in the problem i was havin, askin for His strength to give love, and i had to go help another findin peace of mind in the thought of my HP and live His purpose for my life. much to my assurance, as bad as i wanted my way, i broke good and did what he had said. it was another one of those lesson learnin days. with those simple actions, i discovered the spiritual law of freedom through responsibility to myself and others. i learned that tryina be manipulative and dishonest without lettin go i was the one who suffered. today i get to give another the same compassion i would give myself. 1 day @ a time...