My Love Addiction

I recently discovered that I am a sex and love addict. The easiest way for me to fall in love with someone is to have sex with them and/or fantasize about having sex with them. Relationships has been my kryptonite and always end up leading me to relapse. Well now I have finish my 90 day treatment and I have been going on 4 months of sobriety. While I was in Treatment I fell in love with this girl. She meant everything to me. we made out a lot especially in the TV room. she would come to my room and I would sneak up to hers. we would cuddle and watch movies. When she talked to me I was her friend first before I was her girlfriend. I was there when she needed me and she was there when I needed her. Everything was perfect. I showed her what a healthy relationship felt like. She did the same for me. I put her feelings first. I put her first and she did the same for me. The first time we broke up she had misunderstandings about me that I had to clarify. But she did needed to focus on herself and work the program. So after we spent that day apart, the next day after I finish my treatment and move to the other side we started loving on each other again. It was new to her to have a girlfriend so I was her first. Everything was going good the second time around. we snuck to see each other and continue on with our relationship even though we had haters that wrote care and concern's on us and started rumors that wasn't true. I let her hold my old phone so she can text me. I felt like That was a big mistake. after she told me she love me and was with me, a few days after that she became distant. then she broke up with me and wanted to try and make it work with her kids father. It hurt so bad and I'm still grieving over it. I gotten to the point that I wanted to hurt myself. I feel so a lone, I cant breathe, all I think about is her, I cant stop thinking about her in anyway. The way she loved me, kiss me, everything in our relationship was healthy. But why, why would she go back to a relationship that is not healthy. why leave a healthy one for a non healthy one. Yes we have the same DOC but still my mind set is stronger. my resiliency is stronger. my love and health and loyalty as well as faithfulness is stronger. And I'm asking all these questions and now, What hurts the most is that she doesn't even want to be my friend. We were friends first. I mean if she didn't really care for me as I assume. Why is it hard for her to look at me as a friend and nothing more. It hurts and I'm crying out for help. Looking for an answer. It's been a long time since I have been damaged like this. I just needed to vent. whoever reads this, thanks for listening. I will take any feedback if possible.