emotional freedom/balance did not precede psychological or spiritual balance. the equilibrium of all were only preceded by a transformation in behavior. when i started changin the way i was actin, my psychological condition started to gradually change. with a change in thinkin, i was able to open my mind and become willin to try to...
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my initial 4th and 8th step personal moral inventorys enlightened me to the many problems i had created for others and myself. i was able to perceive, then understand with the help of my sponsor, how selfishness, self-seekin, and fear, were the cause of the harms i had executed. lookin beyond what others had done,...
i wish i could say i was cured of my alcoholism. that normal human emotions did not affect my life on a daily basis. but i cannot. sometimes the emotions i buried back in the days of doin my dirt come to the forefront of my mind and i remember em like it was yesterday....
my sponsor at the time of my 1st 8th step inventory asked me what harm i had done to myself while out doin my dirt. i can recall this bein a surprisin question. i dont believe i ever thought how the shit i had done to others affected me til the later days of my...
anger, frustration, emotional insecurity, loss of peace of mind, indifference, disappointment, jealousy, misery, or mistrust, any of the emotions which drove my self-righteousness and self-centeredness were emotions others may have felt coz of my behavior, action, or words against em. it did not matter to me as long as i got what i wanted from...
in my early recovery i may have thought i only hurt myself. even when others said i hurt em, i could not see it. whether it was my alcoholism or pride and ego, i could not hear em. the delusions i had set myself up for created illusions that all was well. ohhh, how wrong...
recovery has given me the ability to look within with healthy intention. i must 1st mention this before goin any further. i have a trusted friend in recovery who taught me likin what i find in anythin is optional, meanin i may not like what i see, its my preference. havin said that, when i...
i cannot think today, no better way to develop the best possible relationship with every human bein i know other than to do exactly what i always thought i was doin in the days of doin my dirt. did i think i was honest, brought hope, lived with integrity, lived in humble action or words,...
where was i at fault? well, there were many situations where behavior, action, and words, caused me to put people in a defensive posture. and at the time i could not see the self-servin motives which drove me to make decisions based on self. i had much belief if i didnt fight to get what...
this step in many ways is a 2nd honest attempt at a personal moral inventory. surely the 4th step moral inventory did me well. i was able to learn the exact natures of character defect and shortcomins i had. but here with this redoubled effort i get to put into practice how to not make...