i wish i could say i was cured of my alcoholism. that normal human emotions did not affect my life on a daily basis. but i cannot. sometimes the emotions i buried back in the days of doin my dirt come to the forefront of my mind and i remember em like it was yesterday....
my sponsor at the time of my 1st 8th step inventory asked me what harm i had done to myself while out doin my dirt. i can recall this bein a surprisin question. i dont believe i ever thought how the shit i had done to others affected me til the later days of my...
anger, frustration, emotional insecurity, loss of peace of mind, indifference, disappointment, jealousy, misery, or mistrust, any of the emotions which drove my self-righteousness and self-centeredness were emotions others may have felt coz of my behavior, action, or words against em. it did not matter to me as long as i got what i wanted from...
in my early recovery i may have thought i only hurt myself. even when others said i hurt em, i could not see it. whether it was my alcoholism or pride and ego, i could not hear em. the delusions i had set myself up for created illusions that all was well. ohhh, how wrong...
recovery has given me the ability to look within with healthy intention. i must 1st mention this before goin any further. i have a trusted friend in recovery who taught me likin what i find in anythin is optional, meanin i may not like what i see, its my preference. havin said that, when i...
i cannot think today, no better way to develop the best possible relationship with every human bein i know other than to do exactly what i always thought i was doin in the days of doin my dirt. did i think i was honest, brought hope, lived with integrity, lived in humble action or words,...
where was i at fault? well, there were many situations where behavior, action, and words, caused me to put people in a defensive posture. and at the time i could not see the self-servin motives which drove me to make decisions based on self. i had much belief if i didnt fight to get what...
this step in many ways is a 2nd honest attempt at a personal moral inventory. surely the 4th step moral inventory did me well. i was able to learn the exact natures of character defect and shortcomins i had. but here with this redoubled effort i get to put into practice how to not make...
to become willin to make the list of ALL persons i had harmed i needed to go back to the earlier steps and focus on those principles. with the help from my sponsor i looked at the honesty, hope, faith, courage, integrity, and humility, i had worked at practicin. pullin from each of these and...
in my early recovery this list was helped along by my sponsors guidance. i had already written those whom i held a grudge or resentment. what was surprisin to me was the way my sponsor helped me understand how those i perceived had harmed me, had actually been hurt by me 1st. their reaction to...